DIYANA RAHIM

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time but I forgot - I actually did forget haha. It was so crappy of me, but for a while there I just didn't wanna look at my blog anymore. I've been through a rough patch lately and now I can finally let go of it. Forgive me guys? (BTW - HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY NEW LAYOUT! I THINK IT'S THE BEST ONE YET, AND I LOVE IT! *throws hearts*)

Anyway, back to the post. I remember us all bonding over our previous program in Baling, and soon afterwards deciding on another trip - a non-club affiliated one instead. At first we all thought that it was going to be one of those whimsical ideas, let's-do-this-but-we-won't-end-up-doing-it kind of thing (well, at least I did) but it ended up becoming reality, which I would say to most of us was unexpected. This was all thanks to Syafiq though, since he did most of the planning. If there was one thing that I would pick to admire about him it would be his ability to plan out tasks. Not only him though, but kak Sya, Pian and Acap also made big decisions for the group.

What was funny though was that I feel that we were all still pretty much distant with one another during the program, but as soon as that was finished everything went kaboom best friends everywhere. (lol) Or maybe that was just me. It takes a lot of time and effort for a person like me to open up to a group of people, so even though I wouldn't consider myself as very very close with any of them, I'd say that they know me pretty well and that I can talk to them about a lot of things and vice versa. I even managed to kind of get together with one of them during this whole pre-trip months HAHAHA OK THIS ISN'T FUNNY, but we recently decided to separate and remain as friends. But anyways, after months of talking about it, planning, plenty of problems come and go, decisions were made and 10 of the original team finally ended up making this idea a dream come true. Go #TeamHidayah!

So on the 4th of February 2016, we headed off to Langkawi!



//Pics will be mostly added later cause my laptop sucks//

It's been a while since I've listened to any K-Pop songs or even watch any Korean related shows. However, for some reason - I am absolutely addicted to this song. I don't even know why haha, since I'm not actually in love with the group or anything. They're really good, and I like most of their songs - but I don't actually know them apart from the group name. Like I said, it's been a while right? I just wanted to look up some good dance songs and this was like a treasure just waiting to be eventually found by me. Anyway, have a look! I have some friends that are absolutely obsessed with them (they are cute after all), and even though I just appreciate their music and ability to dance and perform well, I won't be getting back into the K-Pop scene so soon haha.  

Fall Fall Fall, scattering apart
Fall Fall Fall, falling

Because of you, I’m becoming ruined
I wanna stop, I don’t want you anymore
I can’t do it, this sucks
Please don’t give me any excuses

You can’t do this to me
All of the things you said are like a mask
It hides the truth and rips me apart
It pierces me, I’m going crazy, I hate this
Take it all away, I hate you

But you’re my everything You’re my
Everything You’re my
Everything You’re my
Please go away huh

I’m sorry I hate u
I love you I hate u
Forgive me

I need you girl
Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone
I need you girl
Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

I need you girl, you’re beautiful
I need you girl, you’re so cold
I need you girl I need you girl
I need you girl I need you girl

It goes round & round, why do I keep coming back
I go down & down, at this point, I’m just a fool
Whatever I do, I can’t help it
It’s definitely my heart, my feelings but why don’t they listen to me
I’m just talking to myself again, talking to myself again
I’m just talking to myself again, talking to myself again
You’re not saying anything, please, I’ll treat you well
But the sky is blue, the sky is blue

The sky is blue and the sun is shining
So my tears are even more noticeable
Why is it you? Why did it have to be you?
Why can’t I leave you?

I need you girl
Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone
I need you girl
Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

I need you girl, you’re beautiful
I need you girl, you’re so cold
I need you girl I need you girl
I need you girl I need you girl

Girl, just tell me you wanna break up
Girl, just tell me it wasn’t love
I have no courage to say that
Give me my last gift
So I can’t ever go back to you

I need you girl
Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone
I need you girl
Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

I need you girl, you’re beautiful
I need you girl, you’re so cold
I need you girl I need you girl
I need you girl I need you girl

Sekarang ni kan, aku rasa macam dah berubah sedikit. Entah la kenapa. Haa, daripada seorang yang tak guna aku kau ni semua, tetiba asyik guna je sekarang. Tapi, aku tetap tak guna panggilan ni bila cakap dengan sesiapa.

Yang lagi pelik nya, aku sekarang menaip dalam Malay. Since when kot? Dulu nak tengok Malay kat blog aku ni kira rare gituuu. Tak semestinya aku guna Malay ni maksudnya aku lupakan English. Memang tak la. Aku rasa, aku still lagi fasih dalam English daripada Malay. Kah.

Tapi, aku dah berubah lagi kot. Mood aku macam dah tak kisah. Tak kisah la kau nak kata apa, kau nak cakap apa, kau nak baca ke - aku tak kisah. Opinions is just that kan? Opinions. Everyone ade opinions sendiri. Siapakah aku untuk menghalangnya? Aku dah belajar untuk tak ambil hati sangat to what orang lain kata - if nasihat tu bagus, then Alhamdulillah - aku dengar. Kalau sekadar insult tu, terima kasih la. At least kau abiskan satu part of hidup kau fikir pasal aku.

Here you go sayang2ku sekalian ahaha (since abg Syafiq said that my blog was fully English right?). The long awaited report (I can post this here right?) Much loves, Dee.

The committees departed from IIUM at 10.00 P.M on 13th November 2015 and arrived there at 8.05 A.M. on the 14^th November 2015. After introducing ourselves to the orphans, the committees had a quick breakfast and wash before starting the morning session. At around 9.10 A.M., the programme was led by and started with an opening remark from our Head Programme Coordinator, Mohamad Zulsyafiq Bin Zulkeflee. This was followed by a short welcoming speech by the head of the house, Hj. Mohamad Bakre B. Yaakop and an introduction by all members of the committee. We exchanged information such as our full names, our age and our courses and place of birth. Afterwards, we asked the children to do the house cheer with us – “When I say Hidayah, you say? Awesome!”, and the “Hidayah clap”. In addition, we gave them a theme song, practiced it along with the orphans while they follow the dance moves shown on the projector. These will act as an energizer throughout this programme.

Before starting off with the first module, we separated them into groups of threes and twos. There were a number of children who was unable to participate with us as they had to go somewhere else, so the numbers in the group was unevenly matched but still workable. We divided the participants into 4 groups, based on the name of the animal they received on their paper. They were blindfolded and were required to search for their teammates by making the sounds of the animals they received. The animals will determine which group the participants will be allocated in. During this activity, the participants use their creative activity to mimic the sounds of the animals and also enhance their sensitivity to their surroundings, at the same time it strengthens the ukhuwah between the participants and the committee members whenever they mingle around to find their partners.

Module 1 started at 10.00 A.M. – the “Ice Breaking Session” which was conducted by the committees for Head and Assistant Module, Muhammed Asyraf and Farah Zahirah. All participants were given a A3-sized paper and some pens and coloured pencils. They were required to design their own logo and team name, to come up for the reasons behind those logos and a cheer that corresponds with their team. Meanwhile, the facilitators of each group did a taaruf session to get to know the orphans and their personalities. They were given 30 minutes to prepare the logos and cheers. After the time had finished, each team was called to stand at the front, introduce themselves, their team, and talk about their logos. This session ended with the presentation of the cheers by all groups. During this session, the two committees for Catering and Logistics were assigned to help prepare lunch along with the house help.

The second module started at 11.00 A.M., titled “Bridge Building”. This module requires all the members of the team to create a bridge out of newspapers and straws. This activity was led by both the Head and Assistant Module again. Each group was given a set number of straws, a whole newspaper, cellophane tape, markers and scissors. Using all these things, the created bridges must be innovative, creative and most importantly – strong. They were given one and a half hours to complete this task, with the invention of each groups brought forward to the front and put in between two chairs to see if they can pass off as bridges. Books were then used to be stacked onto these bridges, as these are judged on how well they can hold those books and how many of the books are able to be fitted on the bridge without collapsing. The group which had the most books stacked onto the bridge was the winner. Before judging, a representative from each group would present their masterpiece and explain the inspiration behind the look, and the functions of bridge.

Right after Module 2 had ended; all committees and orphans took a break for lunch and prepared themselves for Zuhr congregational prayer. This was led by one of the male committee members. As for the lunch, these were prepared by the staffs of the house, with the help of our Catering and Logistics committees. Before eating, one of our male committees led the recitation of Du'as.

Around 3.00 o'clock in the evening, the programme continued with the third module – “Education Bingo” and it was conducted by both our Module and Programme Coordinators. Prior to this activity, each committee member had hidden 25 numbered cards around the activity hall and the surroundings of the house. In addition to this, each member of the committee was given a question sheet containing a list of questions and answers based on the Islamic knowledge. The committees had also prepared a scoring card, which will be looked after by a member of the committee. The participants (in their respective groups) were required to find a numbered card and approach a facilitator holding the question sheet. In their group, they have to cooperate and use teamwork to answer the questions as a whole team. If they answer correctly, they will be able to keep their card and hand it over to another facilitator who marks the scoring card. However, if they answer incorrectly, they will have to return the card where they found them. The team which manages to answer the most number of questions will be the winner. These questions required them to think creatively and wisely on how to answer the questions in a critical time. This module had taught the orphans to be able to adjust and collaborate together in a healthy competition, to form excellent teamwork and emphasizing on the individual concentration. This activity took 2 hours, and was accompanied by a break afterwards.

After the break, the Programme Coordinator, the children were given a theme for each group, all of which they had to prepare and present a story on the next day. Their discussion took place around the house, and they were given the liberty to use any property they wanted. Then, everyone – including the committees were given a free period for relaxation, self- preparation and Asr prayer. Unfortunately, it had started raining by this point, therefore making the space for congregational prayer unavailable as the rooftops of the activity hall had small leaks inside it. This situation continued until Isya’ prayer and everyone had to sadly perform their prayers separately. Around 7.30 P.M., everyone gathered for dinner, and we all ate together as the rain had stopped. At 8.30 P.M, we performed Isya’ prayer together; followed by a Tahlil and a Yassin recitation.

As for the night activity, Module 4 took place at around 9.00 P.M, and was led by the two Module committees, Muhammed Asyraf and Farah Zahirah. The module – “Guess The Word” and “Paper Models”, were conducted one after the other. In “Guess The Word”, two members of each team had to come up to the front, where they will be given a word of a piece of card which had to be attached on the foreheads. However, they are not allowed to see the word they were given. The two representatives had to stand across from each other, and look at the words of their opponents. Then, they had to strike up a conversation given the situation that was suitable for the items on the cards. Each person had to make their opponent say the word in their sentence, without actually telling them what it was. If one person manages to mention the word on their forehead, then they automatically lose the game. This activity was played until at least one person from each team had represented their respective teams in the game. This game allowed the children to think fast on the spot, and use their creativity to come up with the sentences in order to persuade their opponent to say the word.

For “Paper models”, each team had to select one member to be the “model”. They were given a supply of newspaper, pens, cellophane tape, scissors and staplers and were required to dress these “models” up using the items given. They were free to use any designs, and create any types of clothing they wishes to present. They were given around 40 minutes to complete this task. After finishing their creation, the models had to present their created clothed in front of the audience, mimicking a catwalk stage. The groups were evaluated by the owners of the house, who gave them stars according to their opinion on the designs. All of the groups and the members then posed for pictures afterwards. These two activities took 2 hours and 15 minutes, and followed by a presentation from the orphans.

The presentation took place at 11.15 P.M, where the children sung qasidahs and songs in Malay, Japanese and Arabic. The members were touched and felt much appreciated by the kids. This was soon followed by a short speech from the owner’s son, Brother Syaham and supper. Brother Syaham had given each member a token appreciation, and some extra gifts that were to be distributed back at IIUM. The kids were sent to sleep shortly afterwards. At 11.50 P.M, the committees had a short briefing for the activities on the next day.

At 5.00 A.M Sunday morning, all of the committees had woken up to perform their Subuh prayers, and the children prepared themselves for school. At around 6.30 A.M, they were sent off to school by Pak Long in his van. After the committees had the chance to prepare themselves, they all had breakfast together in the activity hall. Nearing the end of their breakfast time, the committees had a short post-mortem regarding their activities yesterday. The committees were given the chance to express their opinion and suggestions for the program. At around 9.15 A.M, the committees separate themselves into 2 teams – one inside and another outside.  This signalled the launch of our Jejak mission, with the team on the inside decorating the prayer room, and the team outside had to make a mini garden around the house. The team inside decorated the room by rearranging the furniture, and construction a mini mural on the wall. They painted pictures, including the Caring Club logo, and pasted posters with Du’as on them. Meanwhile, the team outside planted 3 plants, with 2 plants leftover as decided by the house owner. These plants were scattered around the outside of the home, and had bamboo sticks and a sack acting as protection for the plants. This continued until around 12 noon, where some of the children had safely arrived back home.

Afterwards everyone took a break and had Lunch together with the kids that had returned, and this was followed by self- preparation for Zuhr prayer. Then, the committees and the participants had a sharing moment, where the children shared the story that they came up with yesterday in regards with the theme given. This activity helped them to enhance their thinking skills, building confidence by presenting and acting according to the theme given and to improve their presentation skills. After this was finished, the committee performed “Kenangan Terindah Hidayah” using the song from Samsons. They had also made a short video comprising of the photos taken during the programme. The committees then expressed their feelings and short experiences to their orphans, followed with the gift and closing ceremony. One of the committee members had prepared some handmade bracelets to be given to the children. A token of appreciation was given to Hj. Mohamad Bakre for allowing Caring Club to conduct this programme there and for their tremendous hospitality. Lastly, before departing to IIUM, all the committees and participants had a short teatime and a photography session together.

I apologize if some of the details might be wrong or anything - but I tried my best haha. Wait for part 3 okay guys!

I remembered the very first time I saw him.

"Yo babe, who's that?" I asked. He was currently flipping over some kind of pancake-y thing. That's weird, I've never seen him before. And damn, he was hot. One of the most good looking guys I've seen here so far.

"I don't know myself Sarah, but I'm guessing you're interested by the looks on your face. I might just find myself having a tiny crush on him too. But look at who's next to him? My love! So they know each other...," Lisa whispered back. Lisa was currently obsessed with this guy in her class, Adrian or something. He was cool, but not my type. I find Sarah looking at me warily whenever that dude talks to me.

The girl in front passes us our food and handed over our change. Yea, I'm currently drooling over the guy cooking in front of us. Of course, it was hard for us to go all hyper over things like these when we're practically surrounded by so many people. We are, after all at one of the most overrated event here in the campus - Frenzy Fest.  Each stall was bustling with queues and chatters, from morning till night. I decided to walk around a bit more and visited again whenever I can - not to buy anything, but to see that person again. Almost every single time I see him, he was surrounded by friends. He's well known, I guess.

Hmm, looks like we'll be seeing more of each other again soon, stranger.

-to be continued-

"Look at this dandelion..." Dia cabut sekuntum lagi bunga liar yang tumbuh melata itu. Bunga yang sudah kering. "Kalau awak sayangkan bunga ni, awak akan biarkan ia terbang... Walaupun menjauh... Walaupun tidak bersama awak. But it's the best for it. It will grow again. Will flower again... And all over again, it will charm you with its beauty. Love is not about possession. Love is to let your loved one lead a happy life, no matter how that person chooses it. Not prioritising your happiness but their happiness. If not, don't call it love. Call it possession. Selfishness..."

 -13 JAM A380

But darling, there's no point in me being sad because of you - because I'm already happy with my own life.

05.05.2015, Tuesday

He was the light in my darkness,
I barely knew him,
But I knew full well of this intensity arising
throughout me at the bare mention of his
existence,
With the sweet coarse voice,
Those melodic smiles,
The electric eyes,
The way he fumbles with his hairstyle,
The mesmerising confidence,
And he changed me at once.

{d.r}

[Thanks for being one of my inspirations, even if you're only present as an asymptote in my life.]

"Love is, that you are the knife which I plunge into myself." - Franz Kafka

I kept on seeing you walking,
With your friends,
All smiling and laughing.
Did you ever take time to stop, and look back to see the girl that was staring wistfully at you?

Your charming smiles,
Your eyes,
When we made eye contact,
Or when it felt like we did -
it was like your chocolatey eyes were digging straight into the very essence of my soul,
much like pointy daggers being thrown towards me one by one.
People often tell me the feeling of heartbreak - and often ask me too
But there never was a 'correct' answer.
Because, you never truly understand what being heartbroken is until it is you whose heart is broken.
I knew from the start that you were going to break my heart.
I knew even when I started approaching you.
I knew it definitely when I started falling for you.

I knew it just like you know that going outside in the rain will make you get wet.

And I made the biggest mistake in telling you so.

But then, when you are confessing - you never realise what will happen next,
You forget that you will indeed, end up crashing down.

All you cared about in that precise moment was the feeling of the rain
gracefully dancing on your skin,
enveloping you within a cocoon of happiness and temporary liberty.

But afterwards, when you look back upon your drenched clothes, your runny nose,
your smudged mascara...you'll regret it.

That's what love is to me; that's my heartbreak.


{d.r}

please be honest when you are with me.

sometimes you just can't help but be disappointed.

for someone who wants something, you're not exactly reaching for it.
for somebody who supposedly likes something, you're not exactly showing it.
for someone who knew how easy it is to lose it, you're not exactly fighting.
for somebody experienced, you're not exactly knowledgeable about it.

Hey, it's been a while.

I've actually wanted to write so much here, but I've decided not to. Shall we say, they're not really nice things - and I should let them go and not bear grudges against it. My aim to change and improve myself is slowly (s'alright, as long as there is a change) but surely, starting to take place and I am very grateful for that.

As I am heading nearer and nearer into working life, I realised that you'll always make mistakes along the way. But c'est la vie. That is life. Those mistakes are what you will learn from, in order to attain your dreams. Even now, I know I keep on making mistakes - and sometimes those mistakes end up hurting others. I'm really sorry guys, and I hope you can forgive me,

And to you, I know you are not that person. You're simply two very different people. And I guess I'm still not used to that. I've promised to try, and I will. There's a lot that you don't know about me, and there's a lot that I am still yet to know about you. I realised that I can't expect all of that from you. It is my fault, and I should not have been so down about it. You're not perfect, neither am I - so I shouldn't be so quick to judge you.

That's a very depressing post... so I guess I'll just end it here before things get worse. On another note, my exam result will be coming out in 2 days (oh noes!) and I'll be making my way back to uni this weekend. Dang it, long semester awaits!

Here's hoping to a better week for you guys, x

1st January 2015.

Assalamualaikum.

Hey guys, it's been a while since I've last updated this. My life has changed dramatically these last few months, starting from the introduction of university life. In a way, it's still very much similar but at the same time - very different to my school days. And long before you know it, I've completed my very first semester here in IIUM.

However, since it was the very first, and a very short one at that - I should really step up on studying. I'm pretty much used to the way I've studied in the past, and that works just fine until I start getting bombarded with more and more unfamiliar subjects. But enough about that eh?

My firsts thoughts before entering here were pretty worrisome, but I had never expected to gain as much friends as I have -  and not just that, I've met those who I consider to be my brothers and sisters now. /yes, kak yana is talking about you M/

I've noticed people over here tend to call me by my other nickname, Yana - I honestly don't mind haha. All of my nicknames have a lot of meaning and memories behind it.

The Gombak campus is awesomely huge and even though I am yet to fully explore it, I hope I'll get to someday, Insha Allah. However, I still miss the closeness of the students in PJ - and I especially miss my room mates. With the new ENCOM and TPM students coming over next semester, I'm sure you will all do well and not get lost {and uhh...in turn having to get someone to pick us up (forever grateful for this by the way) like me on the first day sobs}.

That's all for now guys, I'll update this post later on (with more pictures haha).

Hey guys! As you may have noticed, the tab above^ looks a little different than before. That's because it is! /does drum rolls and fails.

Anyway, I have previously mentioned that my interest in photography and editing has returned! wahaay whoop whoop It's not great or anything, but I like it so nothing wrong right? Check it out guys...or if you don't want to then that's fine as well. cries (just kidding.)

If you have any comments, or would like to use any of the pictures (I can remove the watermark) then just drop a couple of words in the comment section - or contact me using any of the other alternatives.

Also, if anybody wants to know how I made the slideshow thing, I can absolutely give you a step-by-step tutorial on it. Just ask, I won't bite.

So what do you think about it? Is it a good addition to this blog or unnecessary? And do you think the look of this blog is okay or should I change? Tell me about your ideas and suggestions - I would absolutely love to hear about them!

Bye for now!x