I can't do it. I can't do what's right.
When you are stuck between doing what you want to do and say and what you feel is right.
My love is like a delicious red rose,
Dangerous but intoxicating,
Poisonous yet beautifully alluring,
Throwing irresistible daggers across the frozen red beat,
Irreplaceable, irrevocable, irremediable.
{d.r.}
"Who knew we'd be writing our own modern, crazy fairytale?
"No one," he murmured, kissing my cheek.
"Because the best love stories are never merely just written - they are lived."
- Ninya Tippett
Dear Darling,
I think that I
May just be
Addicted to
You.
I think that I
May just be
Addicted to
You.
My condition
Is called
Vacillation
You see.
I can't simply
Love or Hate
You.
And
The cause of
My condition
Is simply,
The presence of
Me and You.
{d.r.}
Beneath the jungles of my soul,
Vast and wide,
Filled with suffocating emotions,
Disturbed and confused.
There lies a little girl,
With her reflection,
There,
With her soul bare,
Deserted and destroyed.
{d.r.}
Fly my dear,
Fly towards the heaven,
From the earth.
Flutter your wings,
Beneath this exquisite sky,
Fly towards me,
Without a goodbye.
{d.r.}
I love You,
my dear,
my soul,
my heart,
my everything.
You are
my world,
my sunshine,
the stars,
to my moon.
You are
my Infinity,
You are,
my Eternity.
{d.r.}
Love, take care of
My heart.
Love, protect
My soul.
Love,
Love me till
Forever and Always ends.
{d.r.}
Stealing secret glances at each other,
Little did you know that
You stole my heart,
There and then,
Your piercing blue-grey eyes,
Growing accustomed to my rapid heartbeat,
My non-existent breaths,
And I found that my soul had
Already belonged to you.
{d.r.}
I still dream
of you,
Even to this day,
You'll forever remain
as the owner of my heart,
The thief of my soul,
The one who wreaked havoc on my senior year.
I'll remember you always xo
{d.r.}
The pain came back,
And I was left
defenceless,
The receding laughter
Void of emotions,
Escaping my deserted
soul.
My broken shield,
Leaving a defeated and
paralysed warrior.
{d.r.}
Let's watch the
stars together,
My love,
Under the magical
blue sky,
Steal my heart,
This eternal night.
{d.r.}
Your love is equivalent to
The silent beating of my heart,
Oblivious to others but you.
You are like the red viscous
Which runs through my
very veins
Stay with me,
My dear,
Fall in love with me,
My dear,
Like the very first time.
{d.r.}
"What have you been up to?" he says,
As I stared into the deep blue oasis
of his,
I wondered,
What would he think of me,
If he knew of how
I longed for
his warmth,
If he knew of how
I have been
silently wishing for him,
Succumbing to the flawless fantasies
of which he is the main
Protagonist of my heart.
{d.r.}
Where am I?
Stuck in a hopeless limbo,
Silently floating on an endless canvas,
Of red, yellow and green.
The melancholic breathing flowing alongside me,
The blue ocean spreading vast above me,
And you,
Holding my hand,
My very own epitome of peace and eternity.
{d.r.}
I fell in love,
Yet I felt lost as well,
Is it lust?
Craving the midnight sun,
And the melody of the glittering
Hopes and dreams.
{d.r.}
To my one and only D.E.,
I'm always waiting for you
I'm always waiting for you
And I'm about to lose my patience
I've always loved you
Never stopped, yet you never loved me back in the same way.
Must we end like this?
Cut up the ties, get rid of the lies,
I promise to never look at you again.
Love, you betrayed me, my heart
Ripped to pieces, and thrown away like trash
Oh, I'll pretend, pretend to be happy for you, so
You can love another and not feel guilty again, just because I love You.
{d.r}
{d.r}
When I'm in love,
I listen to songs which I've never listened to,
I start humming along to soppy old love songs,
To songs which are of no interest to me before.
My daydreams would take over my hours,
Of course, when I'm not too busy staring at you.
All of the romantic comedies in the world would seem like my story,
No one could ever compete with you.
Before, I never used to pay any attention to my appearances,
Whether I had make up on or not,
Whether I smelled nice, perfume or just a spray,
Those never had any place in my mind, they are just naughts.
I want to be closer to you, to feel your warmth,
My heart grows impatient of waiting,
I would film a movie of my fantasies, with you next to me,
As the lead character, as my prince.
When I'm in love,
I want to spend all of my time next to you,
Staying by your side, making you laugh, making you happy,
I want to do so much for you.
When I'm in love,
I want to give my whole life to you, my deepest soul,
My heart, my everything,
All I ask if for you to love me back,
To give me your heart as I gave you mine.
I search for you when we’re separated,
Thirsty for your presence.
Yet I can only look at you and smile,
As if the only feelings which existed for you were non-existent.
My cheeks turn into a tomato, my head drooping low,
My face cornering yours, yearning for that eye contact,
Belonging to only me and you.
I feel confused, should I confess to you?
What if you say no? No, no I can’t risk it,
I can’t risk not talking to you at all.
When I'm in love,
I would give you my all,
I laugh and giggle in front of you, for no reason,
Like a young child craving for your attention.
Please don’t leave me,
Our time is only limited,
I can’t escape from my feelings; I fell in too deep,
My mind – it’s too obsessed with the idea of you.
In school,
The letters in my books dance to form your name,
My head filled with thoughts of you,
As if you were the main character in a song, as if you were the stars to my moon,
You keep on appearing in front of me.
Why can’t you see that I love you?
If you see me doing this, doing that, it means that I have fallen for you,
Please notice me, please notice my love,
When I'm in love, when I have fallen for you and you only.
{d.r.}
The first time I met you,
I knew we would soon be friends,
You were different from others,
I was lonely, so depressed,
In this world which I was unaccustomed to,
I have finally met you,
I was cold at first,
Even now; at times,
I was cold to all my fears,
This is me; this is how I dealt with my feelings
You told me that I was not alone,
And now, I now know that I love you.
I will be waiting for you,
I am here; always was, always am, and always will be,
By your side,
It doesn't matter how long it takes.
When you’re sad, I will always be behind you,
When you’re happy, I will be in front of you,
When you need to laugh or cry, just let me know.
When you are ready for me, just tell me,
And I will rush to be by your side,
I will sweep you up in my arms,
So don’t be alarmed.
Maybe one day you’ll realise,
The love I had for you hidden deep inside me,
Love comes with pain,
Happiness along with heartache,
It’s all so hard to erase.
All that I want; is to ask you to let me stay,
With you and beside you,
I will support you,
Care and love you,
Don’t be scared, you can lean on me.
The first time I met you,
When I looked inside your eyes,
Those blue-crystal starlight pearls,
I knew you were the one for me.
{d.r.}
She found herself being thrown deep into the hopelessness yet again.
"Truth is something that appears like sweet piece of candy or chocolate when it's outer wrapping is peeled off. Just like skin is needed to protect the blood and flesh underneath, a lie is needed in order to protect the truth."
-fbnd
"First love is painful and unrequited love is heartbreaking." - FBND
The one that understands me, is him.
The one that I will try to understand, is him too.
People always ask me of my dreams,
What I want in the future.
But nobody truly understands.
I long to be able to stare into that eyes of his,
Without making sure that nobody is watching me,
I want to weave his fingers with mine,
And leave him kisses,
Cheeky kisses on his face,
And moist kisses upon his shoulders and neck,
I want to feel his warm breath,
As he whispers into my soul.
I want to hear his beating heart,
As I lay down our precious memories,
I want to tell him my secrets,
As I silently murmur my wild thoughts to him.
I want to lie in his arms, or him in mine,
I want him to be able to wrap his arms around me,
And let my cold shivers fade away,
As we share our warmth together,
I want to be able to say my feelings aloud,
Without feeling guilty or bad.
I want to feel his hot lips,
On mine,
As we make new memories and stories.
I want him to be able to remind me,
That I am his.
I want him to set his eyes on me and only me,
To tell me that I am the only one for him.
I just want him to feel the way I feel about him.
The one that I will always try to understand, is him.
The only one that understands me, is him.
{d.r.}
I'm scared of losing you, of becoming the way we used to be after that day...
You know, I have always loved you since the start, and I couldn't quite describe what it was that I had loved about you.
My kind of love only exists in fairy tales and romance novels.
To fix something, that something
has to break.
To find light, you have to find the
darkness first.
The cracks inside that darkness
is what will allow the light
to shine through.
The broken cracks inside you,
Lets the light find you.
{d.r.}
"And with that sentence...she finally lets out the breath which she never realised she was holding onto, and smiled. It will be the last time she cries - if it is God's will, then she'll find that person again one day."
{d.r.}
Hollow.
I can't give you what you need
no, not any more.
I'm just tired,
maybe my love for you is just
not enough any more.
{d.r.}
"Giving anyone the key to my everything is giving someone the key to crush my soul."
You might as well just reject me too, I'm about as useful as shit.
Hey guys, it's been a while since I've done something as trivial as this... but I figured that my readers might want to know a few things about the owner of this blog. Haha...so let's start!
Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.
Starting time : 9.11pm
Name : Dee
Brother(s)/God Brother(s) : 1 brother
Sister(s)/God Sister(s) : 2 sisters
Eye Color : Brown
Hair : Black
Piercings : 0
Height : VERY VERY SHORT. I haven't checked in years, so can't really answer with a figure.
What are you wearing right now? : An adidas grey tee and black trousers.
Where do you live? : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Previously lived anywhere before? Glasgow, Scotland.
Favourite numbe(s)r : 1, 2, 20.
Favourite drink(s) : IRN BRU FO' SURE.
Favourite month : March
Favourite breakfast : Don't have a favourite.
Broken a bone : Nope
Been in a police car : Nope
Swam in the ocean : Yes
Fallen asleep in school : YEAH
Broken someone’s heart ? : Mmm...yes.
Cried when someone died ? : yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Yes
Saved e-mails : Yeah
What is the room you're in like? : erm...spacious? white walls, tiled flooring...with furniture?
What is right beside you? : My...mobile phone, a book and a notepad.
What was the last thing you ate? : A bun hahaha.
Ever had...
Chicken pox : Yep
Sore throat : WHO DOESN'T GET THEM?
Stitches : yes
Broken nose : Nope
Believe in love at first sight? : Err...yes/no. Dunno.
a picnic? : Yea
Who did you last yell at? : My bro.
Who last made you smile? : My little cousin.
What are you listening to right now? : Yu Gi Oh playing in the background.
What did you do today? : Slept, read, watched videos, picked up the laptop from the service place, wrote on this.
Diamond or pearl? : Diamond
Are you the oldest? : Nope
Indoors or outdoors? : Bit of both.
Talked to someone you like? : yes
Kiss anyone? : no
Sing? : YES.
Miss someone? : yes
Ate? : Few minutes ago.
Who you last talked to on the phone? : My little cousin haha.
Made you cry? : someone.
Went to the movies with? : can't remember....haha how sad.
You went to the mall with? : went with dad this morning.
Who cheered you up? : my friends.
Been to Mexico? : No
Been to China? : No
Have a crush on someone? : not currently.
Future kids names? : ...hahaha
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? : No
What’s under your bed? : nothing
Favorite places? : S.Korea, Japan, Switzerland, Canada, Venice.
Who do you really hate? : no one currently.
Do you have a job? : no :(
What time is it now? : 9.26pm
//lol.
Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.
Starting time : 9.11pm
Name : Dee
Brother(s)/God Brother(s) : 1 brother
Sister(s)/God Sister(s) : 2 sisters
Eye Color : Brown
Hair : Black
Piercings : 0
Height : VERY VERY SHORT. I haven't checked in years, so can't really answer with a figure.
What are you wearing right now? : An adidas grey tee and black trousers.
Where do you live? : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Previously lived anywhere before? Glasgow, Scotland.
Favourite numbe(s)r : 1, 2, 20.
Favourite drink(s) : IRN BRU FO' SURE.
Favourite month : March
Favourite breakfast : Don't have a favourite.
Broken a bone : Nope
Been in a police car : Nope
Swam in the ocean : Yes
Fallen asleep in school : YEAH
Broken someone’s heart ? : Mmm...yes.
Cried when someone died ? : yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Yes
Saved e-mails : Yeah
What is the room you're in like? : erm...spacious? white walls, tiled flooring...with furniture?
What is right beside you? : My...mobile phone, a book and a notepad.
What was the last thing you ate? : A bun hahaha.
Ever had...
Chicken pox : Yep
Sore throat : WHO DOESN'T GET THEM?
Stitches : yes
Broken nose : Nope
Believe in love at first sight? : Err...yes/no. Dunno.
a picnic? : Yea
Who did you last yell at? : My bro.
Who last made you smile? : My little cousin.
What are you listening to right now? : Yu Gi Oh playing in the background.
What did you do today? : Slept, read, watched videos, picked up the laptop from the service place, wrote on this.
Diamond or pearl? : Diamond
Are you the oldest? : Nope
Indoors or outdoors? : Bit of both.
Talked to someone you like? : yes
Kiss anyone? : no
Sing? : YES.
Miss someone? : yes
Ate? : Few minutes ago.
Who you last talked to on the phone? : My little cousin haha.
Made you cry? : someone.
Went to the movies with? : can't remember....haha how sad.
You went to the mall with? : went with dad this morning.
Who cheered you up? : my friends.
Been to Mexico? : No
Been to China? : No
Have a crush on someone? : not currently.
Future kids names? : ...hahaha
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? : No
What’s under your bed? : nothing
Favorite places? : S.Korea, Japan, Switzerland, Canada, Venice.
Who do you really hate? : no one currently.
Do you have a job? : no :(
What time is it now? : 9.26pm
//lol.
It's all your fault. You are only bringing him pain...
They're all leaving because of her, and she knows it fully well. Because of her, his friends are taken away.
Prove that my trust in you is not wasted.
"Open up the part of you that wants to hide away,
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try."
You have me,
Yet you think back to the memories of another one,
To me,
That is selfishness.
{d.r.}
You're my wonderful sunshine,
You're my beautiful prince,
Let me become yours someday,
Seal it with a potent kiss.
{d.r.}
He looked at me, his eyes
Brimming with joy and delight,
And it was at that very moment,
That I realised,
And which had confirmed to me the plain truth,
That I love him back with all my heart.
{d.r.}
"Don't ask, don't ask, please don't ask me that same question any more!" she exasperated.
What do you want to do?
"Please, no. I'm hopeless," she sighed.
Somehow, I feel heartbroken. Really heartbroken.
There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. - C. S. Lewis
"I think I might, possibly be in love with her," I confessed. Her smile widened, and her grip tightened.
"Why do you say that?" She questioned, just trying to tease me. This was hard.
"I-I don't exactly know. I think... Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. Well, I do love the way her eyes sparkle when she's happy, the way her hair bounces over her shoulder when she's 'happy dancing'," I found myself smiling. She has this way, of making the simplest of things special, you know? I adore the way her nose twitches when she's sleeping. Her laugh is contagious, it's music to my ears. That one melody I love to hear. Seeing her smile makes my day, it's like she stole my heart and locked it away. I love it when she sings, even though it's horrible. And when I show her a new song, she pretends to know it so she won't look dumb. I love it when she blushes, especially when I'm the reason. If I continue talking, I think I would never stop, because - I would write a book about her."
- A Unique Kind Of Love, by Yasmin Osman.
The girl with the broken smile,
Her heart reminds me of the kind heart of another,
She says she's surrounded by darkness,
However, I fear that it is false.
To me, she spreads happiness,
To whomsoever she speaks to,
No matter their age or issues.
Thank you, dear little sister,
Thank you for being with me.
{d.r.}
You're just getting your heart hurt again and again and again...and at what price?
Why leave your heart out in the open,
When it can be demolished the same inside.
for you.
don't let me go,
now and forever,
don't leave me now,
when everything's together,
because I love you,
every day and every night, your tender
love never escapes me.
hold my hand, don't set me free,
hold me close to you,
feel my embrace,
and love me,
love me like I love you.
{d.r.}
such a gloomy gloomy day.
words left unspoken,
thoughts reverberated through the broken atmosphere.
everyone leaves.
leave me to flee this city of abandonment.
things end, people leave.
everyone leaves.
{d.r.}
The stakes are high,
The water's rough,
But this love is ours.
If you lose me now...then it'll be lost forever.
Numb with pain...
Recollections of the same feelings from the past.
Heart, don't hurt me no more.
Heart, don't deceive me.
Heart, please protect me.
{d.r.}
" Even lovers need a holiday....far away, from each other."
I.
I feel somehow devoid of myself when he uttered those words.
Why is it so hard for one soul to understand the other?
Was this all just a dream within a dream? Am I just lying to myself again? Was it all just too good to be true?
I can't afford to hear the disappointment in that person's voice,
His anxiety or concern towards me.
I don't think I'll last if I hear him cry once again,
all because of me.
{d.r.}
She ought to learn how to control her temper better,
How is she to survive in the battle of love?
{d.r.}
As she looks back on her life,
She realises that, she should be happy and contented with where she is now.
Through each of the stages,
She remembered how unhappy she was,
Wishing to move forward or backwards in time.
But now, all she realises,
is the fact that she was not unhappy,
but that she was indeed, happy.
Life is complicated. Maybe she will work behind the screen inside her room,
where her voices take on the form of digital words,
where the swords and the ashes can't bring her pain any more.
{d.r.}
That man,
Who I once loved,
Had taught me a lot about myself.
He taught me how to care for someone,
How to be patient,
And most importantly,
How to love someone.
That perfect man,
Was perfect in my eyes,
Maybe not for others, but I didn't care,
That perfect man was mine.
That man,
Who I still love,
Had taught me a lot about emotions,
Just by looking at him,
A thousand emotions rushes through my mind,
Am I being crazy?
Is it just infatuation?
That sweet man,
Even without speaking,
He certainly knows,
How to make me smile,
When I'm sad,
or annoyed, or angry.
He makes my heart flutter,
with his very existence.
That sweet man is still mine.
That man,
Who I will love,
Just like I did in the past,
Just like I do right now,
That man, who I will still love in the future,
That man, is mine always and forever.
{d.r.}
A poem by my little cousin;
I see you,
Looking at a piece of art,
Tracing its contour,
Fascinated,
Somehow you found beauty in construction,
and hidden beauty in destruction.
I see you,
Playing the piano all alone,
and how your fingers swiftly danced,
You barely could understand the notes,
Yet you played music with the greatest passion.
I see you,
Flipping through the album,
Looking at your pictures,
How you used to smile so brightly,
Funny how people thought you are happy,
When none of your smiles are real.
I see you,
Sitting before a window,
Looking at the busy city,
How they brought you loneliness,
To keep you awake for the rest of the night.
I see you,
Hiding your scars,
Under thick layers of clothing,
and hiding your feelings,
Behind thick layers of unbreakable walls.
I see you,
Staring back at me,
Looking right into my soul,
and you read my mind,
I can see,
How your lips curved
When you read bliss,
and twitched in pain,
When you reached my dark side.
I see you,
Trying hard to sleep,
Shutting your eyes close,
and your waist, now empty,
When it used to be wrapped,
By a pair of warm arms.
I see you,
Alone in your bedroom,
Looking in the mirror,
Staring at me,
With a blank face,
You used to talk about yourself,
and you still do.
//thank you sweetie <3
I was unsure of what lies ahead of us,
I was unsure of returning back,
I didn't know whether,
I'd be happy again,
Or even prepared to go through everything again,
But I'm glad I did. I'm glad I returned.
{d.r.}
It is for the best.
No deceiving others.
You already have someone,
and therefore you must end it before it is turned into something else.
So many sympathies were felt that night.
Guilty symphonies.
{d.r.}
The one with the broken heart seemed lifeless tonight.
The one who broke his heart felt guilty and sad.
{d.r.}
My soul intertwined with yours once again,
It feels like home.
{d.r.}
To hurt one's soul,
even a little,
breaks a piece of my own.
Even when that person bears no great importance for me.
{d.r.}
I love you my dear, my darling, my honey, my love.
I love you with all my heart, can't you see that?
Everyday before I sleep, all I could think about is you...
I think of you during the day, the night, and the moments in between...
You're my fantasy dream come true...
A shining knight in armour,
Helping me to escape from the world...
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
Your eyes,
Your lovely voice,
Your laughter,
Your singing,
I love the way you made me fall in love with you everyday...
Make me blush...
Smile like there's no sadness in the world...
I love they way you make me have secret fantasies about you...
I love you for being my sweetheart and my friend...
I love the way you care about me...
I love you for the warm tender touch and the things you do for me...
That you're willing to give up your time for me...
I love you for filling my world with your warm love...
I love you for who you are...inside and outside...
The way you get jealous when I mention another man's name...
I love it when you tell me that you love me...
I get butterflies when I think of you...
I love you,
Today, tomorrow,
And I'll keep on loving you forever...till my dying day.
You might not understand just how much you mean to me,
The way you've changed my life for the better..
I thank you,
Without you I can't imagine where I'd be...
I love you with all my heart,
I love you,
I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
I want to be there for you,
When you're happy and when you're sad,
I want to take care of you,
Listen to you,
Learn from you,
Support you...and be there for you,
You touched my life and there won't be another you.
No matter how many times I say that 'I love you', words are not enough to express my fondness for you...
How can I let go of someone who brought so much joy in my life?
I will never....never will I let go of you.
Forever...
I will be your friend, your companion, your lover..
I will stay by your side and be faithful to you...
Accompany you during your day and night...in your dreams...
Bring sunshine in your life...
Wipe your tears...
I'll gather up stars to chase away all your fears...
My love will only be for you...
I will love only you.
Today, tomorrow,
Forever, I will always love you.
Your love,
A.
10th April 2012.
{d.r.}
I love you with all my heart, can't you see that?
Everyday before I sleep, all I could think about is you...
I think of you during the day, the night, and the moments in between...
You're my fantasy dream come true...
A shining knight in armour,
Helping me to escape from the world...
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
Your eyes,
Your lovely voice,
Your laughter,
Your singing,
I love the way you made me fall in love with you everyday...
Make me blush...
Smile like there's no sadness in the world...
I love they way you make me have secret fantasies about you...
I love you for being my sweetheart and my friend...
I love the way you care about me...
I love you for the warm tender touch and the things you do for me...
That you're willing to give up your time for me...
I love you for filling my world with your warm love...
I love you for who you are...inside and outside...
The way you get jealous when I mention another man's name...
I love it when you tell me that you love me...
I get butterflies when I think of you...
I love you,
Today, tomorrow,
And I'll keep on loving you forever...till my dying day.
You might not understand just how much you mean to me,
The way you've changed my life for the better..
I thank you,
Without you I can't imagine where I'd be...
I love you with all my heart,
I love you,
I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
I want to be there for you,
When you're happy and when you're sad,
I want to take care of you,
Listen to you,
Learn from you,
Support you...and be there for you,
You touched my life and there won't be another you.
No matter how many times I say that 'I love you', words are not enough to express my fondness for you...
How can I let go of someone who brought so much joy in my life?
I will never....never will I let go of you.
Forever...
I will be your friend, your companion, your lover..
I will stay by your side and be faithful to you...
Accompany you during your day and night...in your dreams...
Bring sunshine in your life...
Wipe your tears...
I'll gather up stars to chase away all your fears...
My love will only be for you...
I will love only you.
Today, tomorrow,
Forever, I will always love you.
Your love,
A.
10th April 2012.
{d.r.}
Come on, just admit it,
Then we can be forever for each other,
Gleaming stars and floaty hearts,
Shoulder to shoulder,
Dreaming of the perfect world.
{d.r.}
You made me smile again tonight, thank you haha.
Down the wrecked cracks in her memories,
That man still lingering on,
Do you still remember me?
{d.r.}
It takes no more than the ability to make me smile,
Am I being too easy?
Streets filled with vendors,
Happy gleaming faces under the hot bright sky,
Children running through the meadows,
Oh what a beautiful sight.
{d.r.}
The tender stories of our childhood,
Enlighten the very core of my soul.
Oh how I've missed you dearly.
{d.r.}
I know this will probably never be shown directly on screen...but pls pls pls omgosh I want to see natsu x lucy togetherrrrr as a couple.
//ehem...sorry guys haha. My obsession on fairy tail is at this level haha xD
Would I be able to trust you...or are you just the same as the others?
I was surprised at the thought of you,
Even considering my existence,
When I had thought that I was invisible.
{d.r.}
The dark silhouette enveloping her soul under the midnight sun.
{d.r.}
I wonder...do you like me?
...
What kind of person do you like?
I would put my trust in you and give you a chance,
But what I've observed over the years is that,
Not only do you possess the power to make my heart flutter,
But you are able to make the hearts of all those around you
Flutter too.
And I guess I'm just jealous of that.
{d.r.}
Her smiles hid her woes,
Her eyes searched their souls.
{d.r.}
Oh how she lied when she made herself believe that her own heart was made of stone.
She believed that she could not cry at anything so tragic,
Yet her tears start to fall silently into the abyss,
Day by day, night by night.
{d.r.}
Reminiscing about the past,
The shadows consuming their souls...
Let there be light,
Shone onto her and guide her to eternal peace.
{d.r.}
How do you know when you love someone?
Love is...
Love has no words.
When everything becomes perfect to you.
When you can't stop smiling for no reason,
When you view everything as beautiful.
When one completes you.
When that one person becomes the missing piece that you've been
Looking for all along.
That's why, when sometimes the love fades between two people that were not meant for each other,
That is when they realize,
Their mistakes, flaws and regrets,
That is when everything becomes the sudden reality, the ugly truth and sadness.
{d.r.}
She was sorry,
Because of her selfish needs,
She had ruined everything.
Her own mind deceived her,
She feels so lost,
Her soul is lost.
{d.r.}
私はあなたの希望と夢のような錯覚です。
I am only an illusion of your hopes and dreams.
{d.r}
夏の空気の暖かさの下で、
私は安らかに死ぬしましょう。
Let me die peacefully,
Under the warmth of the summer air.
{d.r.}
Because nothing,
can make me cry.
And nothing,
can make me smile as brightly
As only you can do.
{d.r.}
"You think you can know a person's feelings by memorizing a few lines of a psychology book."
-FBND
-FBND
Nobody understands her.
Her silent cries carried through the night's soul.
Her whispers of contentment ignored,
Replaced by the wet tears.
Nobody understands her.
{d.r.}
The unexpected man talked to her again today.
He left her a message out of the blue,
the last person whom she had thought to receive a message from.
Now would you say that everything in life is expected?
Because she indeed, was proved wrong once again.
{d.r.}
It is not that I do not love you any more,
It is not that I hold any grudges towards you,
It is because I do not want to be left,
Hurt, lonely, sad and despised,
That is why I will walk away and not turn behind again.
{d.r.}
Even if you asked me to go back,
Even when it is okay,
Even when my heart aches to say yes,
I won't, I can't, and I will say no.
{d.r.}
Will you still love me in a few years?
What about in ten, twenty years time?
Will you be able to converse with me without getting annoyed?
Will you be able to focus your gaze on me and me only?
Even when my looks are gone?
{d.r.}
Why do we end up liking the wrong person at the wrong time?
She had wished for it so many times,
Yet when she found out about it,
You can somehow tell that her smile was slowly fading,
Replaced by the rehearsed gestures which her feelings were very much aware of.
{d.r.}
When she gave her heart out to him,
It was pure and in perfect condition,
Yet when it was returned back to her,
It came back with irrevocable scars and damages.
{d.r.}
His very words shook her,
The image of him reappearing in her mind,
Why was it so hard to forget this man?
{d.r.}
How can someone make that much of an influence on her life?
It is not fair,
For she sought for him day and night,
The sound of the rain encompassing her soul.
{d.r.}
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. - Friedrich Nietzsche
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche
It truly is a pity,
for I have wished for this too many times over the years,
yet when I am able to obtain it now,
I am useless against it.
{d.r.}
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -I.
I have forgotten many a silly things over the years, and I have been tortured by their consequences over and over again.
I am not special, nor amazing or intellectual.
I am not beautiful, nor cute or pretty.
I am not good at anything,
Perhaps the only thing that I can do brilliantly is to listen to the tales of others,
So why, oh why, did you pick me?
{d.r.}
Her eyes,
alight with the burning passion of her soul,
her head drooping below the midnight sun.
{d.r.}
The silent stars stirs deep within,
The lonely sighs,
The billowing of the black breaths against the tinted screens,
Her haunting nightmares,
Awakened and relishing upon the deserted rows,
Vanquishing in the morning light.
{d.r.}
She never thought that she would ever be able to look at that person with the same line of thoughts again.
She just feels so incompetent and wants to give up.
Sighing, she forces herself to think of better things.
Is it important to be the same person on the outside as the person who we are inside?
"...she felt the old ennui overtaking her; the hopelessness which so often assailed her, which came upon her like an obsession, like something extraneous, independent of volition. It was something which announced itself; a chill breath that seemed to issue from some vast cavern wherein discords waited. There came over her the acute longing which always summoned into her spiritual vision the presence of the beloved one, overpowering her at once with a sense of the unattainable." - T.A
Is it my infatuation with the idea of love or the fantasy of it?
How is she meant to help that person if her own feelings are distorted?
She won't be able to help anyone when she, herself doesn't know what to do with her own life.
Are you able to hear my thoughts?
How do you know so much about me?
How are you able to understand my feelings when no other person can?
Why do you make me like you so much?
{d.r.}
She felt at ease...could she try and learn how to control her feelings?
The more she cares and worries about that person,
the more she will end up in the same place as before.
{d.r.}
And they all finally vanished...yet again.
She's just very tired now,
her life is stuck between the uncertainties and doubts.
Why does she care when that person doesn't seem to want to talk to her?
She shouldn't...
and she can't.
It wasn't fair,
that person's presence was enough to stimulate her hidden dreams.
She can't move on like this any more.
{d.r.}
"She was still under the spell of her infatuation. She had tried to forget him, realizing the inutility of remembering. But the thought of him was like an obsession, ever pressing itself upon her. It was not that she dwelt upon details of their acquaintance, or recalled in any special or peculiar way his personality; it was his being, his existence, which dominated her thought, fading sometimes as if it would melt into the mist of the forgotten, reviving again with an intensity which filled her with an incomprehensible longing." - The Awakening
She wonders whether she could bring herself to ask for what she had wanted that person to do, because she knew it would break the heart of that person.
"How timid and delicate unrequited love is?
Even though unrequited love finds its own way in...
It's a love that gets trapped inside...
Unable to find an exit.
Even though I'm the one who started it
Without knowing a thing...
If he leaves my sight one day...
It's a love that ends vain without it ever having a purpose
Never even having had the chance to bud or bloom any flower
A love that can never bear fruit... like a seed left forgotten...
That is...unrequited love." - FBND
Maybe it was the thought of being able to do something useful for someone that spurred her on...
but she can't let her true feelings misguide her actions.
It was locked away once before,
and it has to stay there.
Her own feelings can't succumb and cloud her own judgements.
Her years of hard work and control couldn't go to waste.
{d.r.}
The something was inevitable,
and she knows it.
But she can't bring herself to stop,
it was having the chance to guide that person,
but by doing so will hurt her own self by unlocking those memories again.
{d.r.}
Hearing that person talk and giggle again nearly brought her to tears.
Yes, it had been that long.
It had reminded her of her previous self,
the girl who had gotten the chance to talk to her secret crush;
the smile reappearing once more.
{d.r.}
Finally,
that smile which she thought had gone was back,
safe and sound.
{d.r.}
Oh dear, don't make yourself go back to before.
You went through hard times to get yourself to float again,
but now you're about to drown yourself down down into the hopelessness.
No matter how much she wanted to return,
she knows fully well that she can't,
and then she prepares herself for the recurring disappointments.
{d.r.}
Just be patient and don't fall to the ground.
{d.r.}
She doesn't want to feel those feelings again,
she gave them up,
locked them away a long while back,
and she's afraid to fall again when it is not possible to do so any more.
{d.r.}
That person was the longest for her,
the hardest, the meanest, the most difficult for her to leave.
But that person was also the one she truly enjoyed herself with,
the one who she had trusted,
the one who she had believed in.
So how do you chose?
How sad.
{d.r.}
She wished she didn't have the ability to store any emotions any more.
She feels bad, for herself and that person.
She didn't regret the decision that the person chose,
but she just feels really bad and out of place now.
{d.r.}
Finding something hard to let go is just your mind trying to tell yourself that the thing/person was once really important to you.
That's all.
If it was meant to be,
then it will be,
if it wasn't,
then it won't be.
{d.r.}
Hah. Funny how everyone starts to remember me now. Like I somehow exist now?
I changed a lot, didn't think I would, but I did.
Maybe not changed the way some might want me to,
but still - can't deny the change.
Maybe not my improved self yet,
but changed.
But I'm still me.
And always will be me.
Remember what you went through, and don't put yourself through it again.
She smiles, maybe it was the first ever time that she realises just how far she had gotten, and how long it had been. She gave up a long time ago, but kept on moving, slowly and slowly moving forward. She still cries at those memories, just like she did in class, in front of her teachers, and alone in her room. But that just showed what she had doubted before - she thought she had lied to herself, but really she had stayed through to herself during that time. The more pain you feel when you lose something, the more real/true it was.
Being hurt doesn't mean that you can't move forward. Memories, good or bad, will help you to take those steps forward. Give it time, give it a chance.
Thank you xo
From a great height he
watched. Cars, buses, boats, people. Slowly, he drew his plans for his great
escape.
Will it result in
death? Or to live in denial?
He looked at their
faces, watched them closely as the time flew past.
Every day he watched.
One by one they passed. One by one they moved on. Moved on with their own
lives. Unlike him.
Every day he would see
the exact same characters going past. The milkman dragging the crate of glass
bottles across the pavement, the few tourists dragging their luggage bags behind
them, the girl searching for the keys to her apartment…clink clink clink…all
the same, every single day.
He couldn’t see the
point of living any more.
Today, it was going to be different. With a pen and paper in his hand, he began to think of the different
things he could write on it. He scribbled a few words down...then scored a line through it. Scribbled again…another line through. He tried to scribble down all the reasons as to why his life is worth living; was his life really that useless?
"Me before You" - JOJO MOYES (short book review)
- Saturday, June 29, 2013
- By Diyana Rahim
- 0 Comments
I was surprised that I had managed to read an entire novel in one day.
But that wasn't everything I was surprised about...
I don't think I've ever cried while reading a novel - at least, not that much. It had me silently bawling over the tragic ending. I hated it. Hated the ending. I hated that I couldn't bring myself to stop reading it when I knew what was about to come in the ending. I wished it had worked out between them. But that ending was what had made the story almost painfully beautiful.
Thank you JOJO MOYES , for writing the beautiful yet heart-wrenching "Me Before You". I would never have thought that the story would have been on that very sensitive topic (it had brought me back to the days I spent in my R.E class, watching a film and looking at case scenarios). I won't spoil the book for anyone so I won't mention the topic here. It was pulled off brilliantly, and I do agree that there will always be different points and perceptions when it comes to making that hard decision or watching someone else doing it.
I felt that I could connect towards Louisa at certain points of the story, and could almost see myself falling in love with Will. It made me thought about my own life, if I could have been as brave as Lou, if I would have stayed if I was in her place instead and if I could break into a wider horizon like she did.
I loved it. Thank you for a poignant, yet brilliant read!
Someone had said once that they had wanted me to be sold as a plushie - so I could always be right next to her and motivate her life.
I am just but a mere stranger, who became your friend and listened to your problems. The one who had motivated herself was indeed - you.
Not me, not anyone else. You.
Don't give up and keep going. You can do it!
I am just but a mere stranger, who became your friend and listened to your problems. The one who had motivated herself was indeed - you.
Not me, not anyone else. You.
Don't give up and keep going. You can do it!
A year ago, I had written a post for you on another blog. It was made especially for you.
...
And a year later, you had still remembered it. Thank you, dear stranger.
...
And a year later, you had still remembered it. Thank you, dear stranger.
That person.
That person has fought many battles with and within themselves,
that person has stored many woes.
But that person, like the past year,
had reminded her of how surprising life can be.
Don't give up.
Be honest and true to yourself.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
And most importantly, have faith and believe.
That person has fought many battles with and within themselves,
that person has stored many woes.
But that person, like the past year,
had reminded her of how surprising life can be.
Don't give up.
Be honest and true to yourself.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
And most importantly, have faith and believe.
They might not always turn out the way you expect them to. At least, that is what she believed in and had learned today. A caring approach, a silent goodbye, forget and remembrance - they won't always come from the person whom you will have expected.
And she learned that today. It was surprising to her, but she didn't regret finding it out today.
And she learned that today. It was surprising to her, but she didn't regret finding it out today.
Differences. People change and lie all the time. Appearances can be very deceptive. One may not act in the same way in front of you as they do in front of others. But please, why be so rude? Not even to that girl, but to her friends who have done nothing to bring you any harm. You led her on, maybe with or without intention - but she doesn't care about any of that any more. You used her feelings against her, her abilities and skills - yet still, she left without saying a word. She even made an attempt to talk to you on her very last day, to talk without any regrets. To talk with a smile like she used to when she was deceived. That was in her past, and she intends to move on. She may realise all this and yet say nothing, because although she was the victim, she was not a fool. She knows. She may not have been hurt completely, but others will. So she wishes that person to be able to change themselves and be the best they could be - without making use of others.
The sound of the rain,
Drenching me in my sorrows,
Wash away the pain accumulated in my heart.
I bury our dying love inside our last farewell,
Outside, the sound of the rain continues on.
{d.r.}
"Knock on a closed door.
Wrap your arms around a tired shoulder.
Wipe away tears.
Listen to the sound of each other’s hearts.
Love each other like that." -FBND
I want to improve myself. I realise that, as the years go by, I began to gradually become awaken to the fact that I will never become a 'somebody', I'll forever stay as a nobody in this world. Yes, a nobody. And if I want to become a somebody, then I would have to change myself. And improve. Sitting like a duck won't help me to improve. However, I can't just wake up one day and expect everything to change in one go. No. Take it slow and give it time. And slowly, but surely (and hopefully) you'll change for the better. But that doesn't mean that you can slack off. You'll support me right guys? Fighting!
Congrats, you've sincerely made me dislike you sooo sooo much that I would like to personally punch your face.
Lots of love,
Me.
/rant over/
An single act by an individual, or even a group, should not represent a whole country, a whole race or even a whole religion. They have chosen to carry out a specific doing by themselves - no religion, country or race will force an individual to do something without their own will. It is their choice, not someone else's. So don't quickly judge another country, race or religion based on what an individual does.
The girl, lying down on her pillow,
can't help but to reminisce about the forgotten past,
to dwell on just how much she missed that person,
whether she will ever meet that person ever again.
Sometimes, it is better to let things go,
for not to be weak,
but to become stronger.
{d.r.}
She had so many worries stored, too many in fact, tons and tons of folders and directories uniquely addressed inside her compacted brain.
Why does the girl keep on worrying so much? Is it not all just waste? If something was destined to happen, it will happen.
Ripping the contents of old jotters, diaries and letters,
The girl was reminded of the memories stored behind those written words,
Tear marked stains,
Each flick of the wrist needed,
To jot them onto those white-lined canvases.
Years go past, and that girl returns to the place where she belonged.
{d.r.}
It's okay, give it some time and you'll soon forget them all. They'll forget you too.
Even that person...
Time to delete you from my life just like the way I deleted our memories in my phone.
I guess this will really be my last time crying over you.
I should have stopped earlier,
I should have seen better.
{d.r.}
"Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember,
The people we used to be...
It's even harder to picture,
That you're not here next to me."
I stood up and leant against the wall. "Payphone - Maroon 5" playing in the background. Those words, crawling its way to the back of my mind, forcing its way to stay there.
I still remember. Our memories. Our time. I remembered your face, your smiling blue eyes, when I had confessed to you for the very first time. I remember, wanting you to understand me, to see my burning love. I remembered you opening my letter, and running up to your friends, curious of whom the letter could belong to. I remembered when you approached me, 2 days afterwards, and your sweet lips uttering the words which I had been wanting to hear all those years ago. I remember, drops of water descending from my forehead, my face ruby red, thinking it was all a dream. I remember you, being just as nervous as I was, stuttering through your words.
"...I love you too."
I've never felt so alive, hearing those 3 words. My tiredness, worries, anxiousness, anger, sadness...all disappeared. You figured out that it was me, the one that had been too cowardly to approach you.
To be with him, I'd withstand all opposing parties,
To make him happy, I'd hug his pain away,
To ease his days, I'll take my chances.
His smile wash my worries away,
His words comfort my soul,
Little sweet moments that we share,
are so precious to me.
My best friend, my love,
Will you be my future?
I can't promise to be there forever,
But as long as we're together,
I promise to stand next to him,
Holding his hands.
{d.r.}