DIYANA RAHIM

I remembered the very first time I saw him.

"Yo babe, who's that?" I asked. He was currently flipping over some kind of pancake-y thing. That's weird, I've never seen him before. And damn, he was hot. One of the most good looking guys I've seen here so far.

"I don't know myself Sarah, but I'm guessing you're interested by the looks on your face. I might just find myself having a tiny crush on him too. But look at who's next to him? My love! So they know each other...," Lisa whispered back. Lisa was currently obsessed with this guy in her class, Adrian or something. He was cool, but not my type. I find Sarah looking at me warily whenever that dude talks to me.

The girl in front passes us our food and handed over our change. Yea, I'm currently drooling over the guy cooking in front of us. Of course, it was hard for us to go all hyper over things like these when we're practically surrounded by so many people. We are, after all at one of the most overrated event here in the campus - Frenzy Fest.  Each stall was bustling with queues and chatters, from morning till night. I decided to walk around a bit more and visited again whenever I can - not to buy anything, but to see that person again. Almost every single time I see him, he was surrounded by friends. He's well known, I guess.

Hmm, looks like we'll be seeing more of each other again soon, stranger.

-to be continued-

"Look at this dandelion..." Dia cabut sekuntum lagi bunga liar yang tumbuh melata itu. Bunga yang sudah kering. "Kalau awak sayangkan bunga ni, awak akan biarkan ia terbang... Walaupun menjauh... Walaupun tidak bersama awak. But it's the best for it. It will grow again. Will flower again... And all over again, it will charm you with its beauty. Love is not about possession. Love is to let your loved one lead a happy life, no matter how that person chooses it. Not prioritising your happiness but their happiness. If not, don't call it love. Call it possession. Selfishness..."

 -13 JAM A380

But darling, there's no point in me being sad because of you - because I'm already happy with my own life.

05.05.2015, Tuesday

He was the light in my darkness,
I barely knew him,
But I knew full well of this intensity arising
throughout me at the bare mention of his
existence,
With the sweet coarse voice,
Those melodic smiles,
The electric eyes,
The way he fumbles with his hairstyle,
The mesmerising confidence,
And he changed me at once.

{d.r}

[Thanks for being one of my inspirations, even if you're only present as an asymptote in my life.]

"Love is, that you are the knife which I plunge into myself." - Franz Kafka

I kept on seeing you walking,
With your friends,
All smiling and laughing.
Did you ever take time to stop, and look back to see the girl that was staring wistfully at you?

Your charming smiles,
Your eyes,
When we made eye contact,
Or when it felt like we did -
it was like your chocolatey eyes were digging straight into the very essence of my soul,
much like pointy daggers being thrown towards me one by one.
People often tell me the feeling of heartbreak - and often ask me too
But there never was a 'correct' answer.
Because, you never truly understand what being heartbroken is until it is you whose heart is broken.
I knew from the start that you were going to break my heart.
I knew even when I started approaching you.
I knew it definitely when I started falling for you.

I knew it just like you know that going outside in the rain will make you get wet.

And I made the biggest mistake in telling you so.

But then, when you are confessing - you never realise what will happen next,
You forget that you will indeed, end up crashing down.

All you cared about in that precise moment was the feeling of the rain
gracefully dancing on your skin,
enveloping you within a cocoon of happiness and temporary liberty.

But afterwards, when you look back upon your drenched clothes, your runny nose,
your smudged mascara...you'll regret it.

That's what love is to me; that's my heartbreak.


{d.r}